Love on Hold Page 10

  Need to go to an early class, then work, then to the hospital. I will only be free late at night. See you then.

  XO Scissors

  She was amusing. She was also killing herself with everything she’d taken on. She was going to be a wreck by the time her incredibly busy schedule was done for the day. I wasn’t about to ask her to change—that would be an affront to everything perfect about her. We’d just have to work with what we had. I had some research to do.

  I waited in front of Lucille Packard Children’s Hospital, hoping that I was at the right entry to catch Leonie by surprise. I felt poking on my shoulder and turned to find her grinning up at me.

  “Disadvantage of a short girl. Can’t surprise you with my hands over your eyes,” she said.

  I bent to kiss her lips briefly, but her mouth opened for me, and I felt her tongue on my upper lip.

  “What are those?” she asked when we parted.

  “After a dozen phone calls and a bunch of paper signing, I am officially a volunteer here too. Therefore, I brought puzzles for my first evening with the kids.”

  Her lips fell into a perfect “O” before she let loose that laugh that I’d grown addicted to.

  “You. Are. Seriously. Awesome!” She jumped up on every other word and clapped.

  We went upstairs, and she introduced me to all the children before she dove into work, which was really just playing games and hanging out with them. It was completely mesmerizing.

  She had dumped her staple revealing clothing for a simple black blouse that showed almost no skin. Except for a small triangle, near her neck, where I could see a patch of her creamy skin. I wanted to latch my mouth on to that spot and suck on it until I made her squirm. Yes, this girl was so much more than skin and hair and sex. She was so full of determination to make something of her life and do it in a high-stakes field where there was rabid competition.

  The kids were adorable, and after playing and talking to them, she took me back to her studio and led me into her room, which was filled with fairy lights, and gave me her longest, sweetest kiss yet.

  There were many variables about our future, and even more things I wasn’t sure of in life. But a certain feeling crept up my spine and took hold of me. Leonie Marsh was a taste I never wanted to live without.

  Twenty-Three

  “You Have a Type.”

  LEONIE

  It was three days later, and Joel and I had another date. He’d asked me where I wanted to go, and I’d said I was in the mood for pizza. We rode in a vintage car—I had no idea what kind, but it was pretty damn impressive. He’d chosen an off-campus Italian restaurant I’d never been to, and when we got there a little too early, the hostess asked us to wait for a short while.

  “It’s so warm,” I said. “Let’s wait outside.”

  The benches out front overlooked a large pedestrian square, and it was early enough, the warm light of the sunset washing over the people still walking down the pathway or taking pictures.

  “Have you ever played people-watching games?” he asked.

  “What? No. That sounds stalkerish.”

  He laughed.

  “It isn’t really. You check out a person and imagine their story. Like, see that couple? Are they together for love or money?”

  He pointed discreetly toward a couple with an obvious age difference.

  “Maybe she just likes an experienced lover’s skills,” I said and gave him a wiggle of my eyebrows. I felt redness seeping down my neck to my cleavage, and I was glad he couldn’t see it beneath my blouse. Or could he guess how nervous I was? As he was chuckling, I found myself wondering about his skill in bed. He’d been painfully clear about his experience, so I would assume his skill was reaching master.

  We were sitting inches from each other, both looking to our front.

  “I see now that you have a type.”

  My skin crawled at hearing Daniel’s voice behind us. Joel and I both turned, and his hand squeezed mine gently.

  “Tall and rich,” Daniel continued talking as if the words tasted bad in his mouth.

  “Man, if you’re a type, I don’t wanna be in your little box. ’Cause you’re rich and an asshole,” I heard Joel say while slowly rising to his feet.

  Rich? Joel was rich? Why did Daniel seem to know him?

  I didn’t have time to answer my panicking thoughts, because I saw in slow motion Joel’s hand extending toward Daniel’s.

  “Joel Thomas.”

  “I know who you are, Mr. Heir to the Insurance Conglomerate. What’s the matter, are you saving money or was she simply not worth a more upscale spot?”

  I looked at Joel and saw him give me his eyes and smile.

  “A prick and with a carrot up his ass. No wonder you never came,” Joel said. This was directed at me. I was glad he wasn’t giving Daniel the time of day and countered his rudeness with humor.

  A giggle pushed past my lips, and Joel’s eyes twinkled with humor and something else, something I didn’t quite get. It was then that Daniel’s usually thin patience ran out, and he made a mistake. He touched me. Or tried to. He’d barely touched my shoulder when Joel’s hand was on his, halting his movement. I jumped off the bench and was planning to get between them, but Joel was faster. He was in Daniel’s face, in his space, so close to him it couldn’t possibly be pleasant. And it wasn’t, because Daniel threw a murderous glower Joel’s way. But Joel’s body was bigger, taller, and he cast a wave of ire in Daniel’s direction, the intensity that made me stop dead.

  “Listen, prick. I’m usually a patient man, but I don’t like being tested. And you’ve gotten in Leonie’s face one time too many. Enough.”

  “Or what?” Daniel grit the words out between clenched teeth.

  “Get close to her again without her expressed wish for it and find out.”

  “Or what?” Daniel repeated.

  “I’ll take care of it personally. And, man, I was going to let you pick the limb I’d break, but keep it up, and I’ll happily leave you without your jerking-off arm.”

  Daniel took a step back. The first one toward his defeat. Joel pulled me close to him, his large arm enveloping my shoulders in a comfortable way that I liked.

  “I respect Leonie for offering you her friendship. But you have to stop mistaking it for anything else and learn some respect,” Joel went on calmly.

  “You aren’t in the position to tell me what to do.”

  Joel’s arm dropped again, and he closed the distance between the two of them.

  “I’m not?”

  “Whatever,” Daniel said, retreating another step.

  Once he was gone, Joel turned to me, offering his hand. I’d watched the scene between them unravel, speechless. My mouth was agape.

  “Insurance conglomerate?”

  “Just something I chose to leave behind,” he said with a soft voice, his hand gesturing back toward the restaurant.

  I’d lost my appetite and, instead, felt a bit of bile come up.

  “But something that you thought was not important enough to ever mention?”

  “Really, Leonie? Have I ever seemed preoccupied by the material aspect of life?”

  His voice felt like granite.

  Not that he wasn’t right. Not once had he ever come across as materialistic or interested in climbing some kind of economic ladder. I wasn’t really sure what the idea was, except for the fact that I felt, all of a sudden, really smothered.

  “I’m suddenly not feeling so well. Could you take me home?” His jade eyes smoldered with hurt, but he nodded and headed back to the car.

  I felt like the silliest person alive. How had I been so naïve? I felt a heaviness set in my chest and belly, and I felt like a complete idiot for not seeing it sooner. His dad had enough money to block his interviews. He lived in Oak Creek, which had luxury apartments and was notorious for not being in the average kid’s price range, and I was starting to understand the car we were in wasn’t a borrow from Levi, but rather his.

>   All his talk of his dreams about being a journalist. Clearly not caring about the path someone else had preset for him, but rather owning his destiny. He’d never hidden these parts from me, they were out in the open, I just was too blind to them.

  Twenty-Four

  “I Keep My Promises.”

  JOEL

  Leonie had watched out the window the rest of the ride home. I didn’t understand what the big deal was. She was turned away from me, and I felt a stab of pain every time I tried and failed to make eye contact.

  “Sweetness …” I tried.

  Her fingers were splayed on her knees, nails digging into her leather leggings so hard it was a wonder they hadn’t broken yet.

  “What are you thinking?” I tried again.

  “For the longest time, Daniel and his father have tried to control me,” she started explaining. “Not in an obvious way, but they always dropped hints like how the career I chose was too snotty for a girl. Not-so-obvious allusions that I’d someday get married and become the housewife of a successful man. Like I’m expected to attend various galas just because I look good on someone’s arm. I don’t want that.”

  “That doesn’t explain why you seem to be mad at me.”

  I hated what I was hearing for a variety of reasons. Because Leonie had been subjected to the same kind of things that my father had done to me. Because despite its shortness, our bond felt strong to me, yet not to her. I also hated that she was even drawing the smallest line of comparison between Daniel and me. I wasn’t anything like him, and that was something she should have known already.

  “Why did you hide from me the fact that you came from a similar background to my ex?”

  At that, I snorted.

  “I just found out your name. Only thing I knew about your ex was that he was an asshole. And our second conversation was about media moguls bought by my father. I offered to hire you bodyguards. Thought that was a given.”

  She turned to me, eyes lined with damp eyelashes, and fixed her gaze on mine.

  “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

  “To be honest, it’s kind of insulting you’re boxing me into whatever stereotype you got going on about rich folk and their behavior,” I told her, even if it pained me.

  She reached for her forehead, obviously distraught, and rubbed her temples, glancing out the window.

  “You’re right. You’re right. God, what was I thinking?”

  She got out of the car, and I followed her to her studio, which was, luckily, empty and quiet. I reached for her, and she just reached for her phone to avoid watching me again.

  Right. I stood there in her apartment with a distinct feeling this evening wasn’t going my way. If the situation weren’t so serious, I would have cracked a joke about how messy her room was.

  “I don’t think this is going in the right direction,” she said, turning back to face me.

  “You’re right. We should be laughing over food instead of having a jerk from your past you don’t even care about come between us for the stupidest reason,” I said.

  “My reason is not stupid. My freedom is important to me,” Leonie said in a voice that, despite its softness, cut through me like a hacksaw.

  We stared at each other for a long time. Her remarkable caramel eyes glistened with tears. My chest felt heavy and I could barely breathe.

  “I’m not barricading your freedom in any way, Leonie,” I said slowly.

  “The rational part of me knows that. But I just feel like taking a break from all of this for a while.”

  “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” I asked, taking two steps and closing the distance between us. “Because you should know better than to think I would try to take your freedom away.”

  She just lifted her chin and straightened her shoulders before saying, “I think we need to go back to being just awkward phone friends.”

  No. That wasn’t going to work for me.

  I wrapped my arms around her tiny waist and brought her chest flush against mine. A vein was pulsing on her neck so hard I thought I could hear it when I pressed my lips against it.

  “Funny. You’re the one who’s doing the running, but I’m the one who’s getting tired. Leonie …”

  I couldn’t believe the hoarseness I heard in my own words. My hands slid lower, cupping her ass and lifting her so she could wrap her legs around my waist.

  “I’m sorry you feel this way. But still, I want to keep one promise,” I told her.

  She didn’t understand what I meant, so I showed her and captured her lips with my own. She sighed, and I kissed her like a madman, trying to erase all her worries, all her sorrows, all her doubts. At least for the moment.

  I walked with her slowly toward her bed, still holding her. Her heat was surrounding me, her smell of jasmine and honey searing its sinewy way into my brain. There was no one in the world.

  I peppered her chest with kisses, and when I started unclasping her wicked blouse, that just wasn’t cooperating; she just laughed and lay back, her slim fingers finishing the job.

  “Look, Joel, maybe …”

  “Shhh …”

  My finger on her lips reduced her to silence, and I covered her small tits with my other hand. I twisted her nipples. Fuck. Those pink nipples. When my tongue touched her abdomen and her belly button, she arched her back, her whole body a tight string for me to play with.

  “Help me, baby.”

  She watched me with those huge eyes and lifted her ass enough for me to peel off her leggings. Her legs landed firmly on my shoulders and, when I pressed my mouth on her pussy, feeling her warmth and her wetness through her satin panties, I swore I could feel her tiny heel pushing my body closer to hers.

  “God, yes!”

  I could hear her breathing, feel her brown eyes burning into me, watching as I pulled the small scrap of fabric aside. I could see wetness pooling, and I stopped myself from any funny remark. We were running out of time.

  I trailed my palms over her thighs, and pressed my thumbs against her core. I licked her slowly, rejoicing in her jerky response. She trembled yet brought her hips and her pussy closer to me. Her cunt was small and slick and it drove me crazy. Leonie could be my last meal, and I’d be fine with that.

  I buried my face against her core, finally latching my mouth on to her clit and closing my eyes, memorizing her shape and the softness of her skin.

  “Joel, wow!” The longing in her voice killed me just a little bit more. My Leonie, at a loss for words as her tiny fingers sank into my hair, holding me where she wanted me as her other hand reached for mine.

  “Just let go, Sweetness.” I breathed the words into her cunt before running the flat of my tongue over her again.

  I lapped at her core again, and I was harder than I’d ever been in my life. She was pulsing and rocking her hips against my mouth, and it took all the self-restraint in the world for me not to touch myself and just make her finish. She came loud and long, and her eyes widened even more, if that was even possible. So much beauty, enough to fill a man’s life.

  I got up despite my buckling knees and fought her hold for a brief second. I was confused at the tightness of her grip. She was the one letting go after all.

  “I told you, I keep my promises. And I owed you that.”

  Her eyelids fluttered in satisfied slowness, and I saw the second my words registered before I turned.

  “I’ll see you around the campus sometime,” Leonie said to my back as I walked out her door. My heart stuttered at that.

  I’ll try not to.

  Twenty-Five

  “You Give Good Apology.”

  LEONIE

  Joel leaving my room felt wrong. Joel’s complete silence following that felt even worse.

  The next day, I tried to convince myself I would simply go back to my routine pre-TDL. I went to classes and made dinner with Amaya, but I couldn’t remember a word from the lectures and food tasted like cardboard. Shame was a new cloak to wear. A heavy on
e.

  On the second day, Amaya was packing to go to her parents’ for Thanksgiving break, all the while throwing me pitying glances. I pretended going to sleep way too early and spent the night reading through our texts through a curtain of tears.

  On the third day, I decided I couldn’t stand the silence anymore and my judgement finally cleared up.

  Me: I acted like a shallow moron.

  Me: Forgive me?

  Me: I have a hole in my chest without you.

  I’d tossed and turned last night, and when sleep eluded me, I started researching. Joel had shared with me some of his older articles on child abuse in foster homes, and I’d followed that old trail, looking to find statistics from more recent years. The information online was confusing, too much and too little at the same time. I shared some of the links I’d saved into an email that I shot his way.

  My phone rang with a video call. I cleared my throat and quickly checked myself in the mirror. I answered with a shake of my head and a silly smile on my face.

  “You give good apology.”

  I didn’t think my smile could get any wider.

  “Yeah?”

  “Yes. You’re also forgiven. Need to work on the timing, though, Sweetness,” Joel answered.

  “Ugh. I know. This is all so new to me.”

  “New to me too, babe.”

  He was right. We were similarly disinterested in relationships, and scared of them at the same time, even if it was for different reasons. It should have been easier to understand his motives than it was, shouldn’t it?

  “I saw your email. I know how sparse the information is. I’m creating a blog dedicated to the subject and maybe an anonymous forum. I already set it up last night when I couldn’t sleep …”

  “That’s neat. Seems like terrific experience for you. And … for what it’s worth? I couldn’t sleep either.”

  “Then what do you say if we not sleep together tomorrow night?”

  I giggled.

  “Cheesy. But I like it. Um … tomorrow is Thanksgiving.”

  “So?”